My Mission Field



This has been one of those weeks. I am discouraged. Looking around me, I think "this isn't what the picture in my head looks like!"

In my head, I have a squeaky clean nine year old and six year old studiously working on their seatwork. I have a just-turned-four year old who is quietly sitting on the floor putting together puzzles while reciting poetry. And my four month old is laying quietly on a quilt smiling and cooing and smelling all baby fresh. And me? I am put together, hair and make-up in place, with a text book in one hand and cook book in the other, effortlessly caring for my home and teaching my children all at the same time.

Reality check.

I just realized my nine year old IS sitting at the table working studiously...with her hair in knots because she gave up after patiently asking me fifteen times for help braiding the unruly mess. My six year old is also at the table, but more kinda upside down (how is that even possible?!) as he works on his math. That four year old is yelling from the room "EEWWW, that baby PUKED!" as she runs around moving my perfectly organized books from one shelf to another. And that four month year old? Yep, she did spit up...among other things...leaving her not smelling so fresh. Here we go, bath number two for the day! She is teething; we've been up for the past two nights and both mama and baby are D.O.N.E. And the cook book? Forget it. We will be having sandwiches again today - and don't even ask me about supper right now. As for me? My hair is in a frizzy mess. Makeup...are you KIDDING? Old jeans and t-shirt. And the all exclusive fragrance of baby spit up as my main eau de toilette.

And the little nagging voice starts as the picture from Better Homes and Gardens fades.

"You can't do this."

"You aren't giving those kids what they need."

"Look at the mess this house is."

"Look at YOU!"

"You can't do this."

Stop.

Truth.

"You can do this - but only through the love, grace and strength of Christ."

"God will give equip you every step of the way, filling in the gaps."

"Okay...the house really is a mess."

THIS is my mission field. These four children under this roof; they are my mission. Not just to supply their physical needs but to bring them up in the Lord. We definitely don't "do life" perfectly or even prettily but we do turn to Jesus again and again, and I pray that despite all the other things I may do that cause my kids to need therapy, they will walk away with a strong relationship with their Creator and Savior.

As a longing fills my heart to be better, to do better, instead I will turn to Jesus who is the best. That I will let Him fill me up instead of looking around to see how I am falling short. I pray that I will recognize that when I am overwhelmed, it is because I am trying to do the impossible on my own power instead of through Him who gives me strength.

This is my mission field.

Sometimes I imagine forging out into the secular world, working a nine to five job, working 'behind the scenes' to bring others to Christ. Sounds noble, eh?

Or to journey off to some other country and hug and love on orphans and tell people about Jesus. Aw, foreign missionaries - unsung heroes who inspire me with their courage and vision. Talk about sacrifice and working for God's kingdom.

Or maybe I could write some amazing book. Teach a group of women. Join a club. Start a revival. There is so much to DO.

But THIS is my mission field.

In my stained clothes, with the only color on my face being the rings under my eyes. With a house that needs a good cleaning and purging. With kids who aren't lined up straight in a row reciting answers to me, kids who are living, learning ....and hanging upside down doing their addition facts. Homeschooling my children. Rocking the baby. Making a bazillion meals a week and doing my best to keep my house 'presentable'. Trying really hard to make home a safe haven for my husband as he comes home after working in the big ol' crazy world all day.

This is my mission field and this is my mission for now:
To raise these four beautiful children to know that they are loved more than they can fathom by a mom and a dad who desire the very best for them. And that best, to us, means knowing Jesus in a very personal way. To train up our children biblically and academically. To take care of our home and to remember that whether I always cherish the role or not, I am the heart of this home. The children looking up to me and sitting under my teaching will gather a large portion of what it means to be a disciple by watching me. My husband can only be as happy as he finds me when he walks in that door.

This is my mission field.

I will embrace it.

On the mountain tops.

And in the valleys when the only mountains are the towering piles of laundry awaiting me.

Because no matter how I view my work, God says it is priceless. I pray I will do it well - what "well" looks like through His eyes, not my own.

Because I am grateful that, for now, God gave me this mission.